My Sea Change Story

Recently I was asked how I can call myself a sea change expert. The answer lies in my story.

April 2004 marked my two-year anniversary of becoming a Corporate Refugee and heading for the hills. I've never shared this whole story with anyone, because at the time I felt such a failure. Now I can look back and recognise it as the spiritual backbone that now supports me.

I set out to find a dream and instead found myself. In two years I have discovered who I really am, why I'm meant to be here, plus more true essence than I ever considered possible.

Many are forced to this kind of realisation through relationship breakdowns, retrenchment, overcoming addictions, near-death experiences or terminal illness. I did it by choice. I'm certain if I had not made the choice, these alternatives would have become open to me. I believe if we don't listen to the voice inside, it will keep getting louder until we finally understand the message.

It all started one day whilst I was sitting on my trusty Number 6 tram. I had just started a new contract, I was getting a great hourly rate, all was well in my world, and although I had started my coaching training, there was definitely no plan to be anywhere else in the world.

As I sat in my favourite spot on the tram enjoying the comings and goings along the lush green tree-lined boulevard, my hazy state (I'm not a morning person) was abruptly interrupted by a booming voice that shouted "GO AND LIVE IN DAYLESFORD". Startled, and not accustomed to being spoken to like that, I looked around. All the commuters had their pasted-on tram faces that said "don't mess with me". It was more than obvious that none of them had been speaking to me. I shook my head and the tram rattled on.

Two stops later it happened again. The big booming voice repeated "GO AND LIVE IN DAYLESFORD". My reaction this time was, "that's all very well, but where the hell is Daylesford?" It occurred to me you probably aren't meant to say "hell" to God, but she should have known not to shout at me before 10am!

Through many bizarre co-incidences and much synchronicity, including a two-month house-sitting stint in Daylesford, I found out where it was. Twelve months later, I signed the contract to buy a very cute Victorian cottage in the middle of Hepburn Springs, three minutes from.........Daylesford.

With my rose-coloured glasses firmly perched on the end of my nose, all I saw was the cutest house in the whole wide world with the most magnificent trees out the back. (Don't ever go shopping for a house with a gay boy!)

In mid-April I packed the overflowing contents of my tiny one-bedroom flat onto a truck, and two short hours later was unpacking what now looked like a very meagre lot of possessions into the five-bedroom cute house . I had wisely thrown out anything I didn't love and now had very little to sit on. To top off the lack of furniture, this cute house was purchased in the middle of a balmy summer and now it was autumn. Reality was beginning to bite as much as the cold.

My friends all came up the first weekend in May for my house warming, which coincided with the Swiss Italian Festa weekend. After they returned to the city, I plodded down to the candle-lit lantern parade and fireworks display that closed the festa. I can still feel the warm tears burning into my freezing cold white face as I stumbled back up the hill alone with my shaky little tea light candle failing to light my path. I'd never felt so incredibly isolated and fearful. "Not to worry," I thought, "the handyman is coming tomorrow to trim my trees and fix everything up and it will all be all right."

The handyman did duly arrive and I left him alone for an hour while I returned the hired goods from the weekend. The sun was setting red along the top of the gully as I returned. Getting out of the car, all I heard were the last couple of revs of a screaming chainsaw ripping through timber. As I rounded the corner at the bottom of the path, spread across the back lawn were the gnarled skeletal remains of what seemed like every limb from my beautiful trees. As the sun set on the scene of this warped chainsaw murder, I took on sole responsibility for the slaughter. Devastated, I sobbed all night. Washed out and red-eyed, I finally dragged myself out of bed the next morning and gingerly lifted the blind. There were my two trees glowing gold, lapping up the sunshine that the old thick canopy hadn't let in for years.

"Fear knocked, faith answered, and nobody was there." (Anonymous)

Totally unprepared, I started to set up my office and get on with earning a living as a coach, painfully shy, with zero marketing experience and in a foreign environment. The tree over-trimming was the start of a downward slide as things started to go pear-shaped all around me. It got colder; I learnt how the pipes freeze in winter. The wind blew ice cold air relentlessly through every crack and crevice (and there are a lot!). I froze physically, emotionally and spiritually. By August I found myself at the dole office signing on.

This wasn't a part of the master plan.

Nevertheless, there is always something to be glad about, and my good news was that I got accepted to do the NEIS (New Enterprise Incentive Scheme) program that gives you a twelve-month grant if you do eight weeks training to learn how to run a small business and write a business plan. It's a brilliant program primarily designed to get people off the dole and into their own small businesses.

For months I survived on the three p's -- porridge, pasta and peanut butter sandwiches -- and couldn't even afford to buy the subsidised canteen instant coffee. This time was a great leveller for me. Without friends and neighbours feeding me, I would have starved. Yet, every time I thought all was lost and the Universe had forgotten me, a small miracle would occur to get me out of a scrape and remind me I was divinely loved and watched over. I learnt to trust and truly understand the power of gratitude.

The NEIS Program taught me a great deal about running a small business. I learnt a whole lot about myself, and I was humbled by the strength of character of my classmates. These people were the salt of the earth, like me with no money but with a burning passion to run their own business.

"The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone." (Orison Swett Marden)

Just before Christmas 2002, I went before the NEIS board and my business plan and grant were approved. Finally I could start to seriously run my coaching practice, with a greater skill base, and safe in the knowledge that most of the mortgage was paid each month. My client base started to grow and I began to develop programs. I learnt to talk in front of groups - a fear I never thought I'd overcome. Through need, I learnt to write web sites and have become a bit of an expert on electronic newsletters. I learn a little more about marketing myself each day.

The house is still freezing cold, but very cute and I just love living here. The trees, although a bit thinner, still dump just as many leaves for me to rake up; and being in the garden soothes my soul. Making ends meet is still a challenge each month because now of course the grant has run out. I joke that now I earn less annually than I spent quarterly on hair care products in my corporate days.

Would I still have gone ahead back then, if I knew what I know now? Absolutely! The journey has tested my strength, my beliefs and my faith many times, and each time I've come out stronger and with a resolute belief in my abilities and myself. This is something many never achieve. Although I may not have made millions -- YET -- I consider myself to be the luckiest person in the world, to be surrounded by so many fabulous people that have solidly supported me right through to now.

So how can I be a mentor to people seeking more of themselves? I don't just bring theory, I bring real-world experience. I know from personal experience how daunting situations can feel. I've stuck steadfastly to a dream, learnt lessons that can be shared with others, but most of all, I've seen the magnificence in myself and others shine. And I'm selfish - I want to see as many people as possible reach that moment of recognition.